Same effect porn has on men, romantic comedies have on women.
Talking about sex might still feel tabu to some while talking about food and shelter is not. To me, any talk related to survival of or pleasing the body is merely … a loss of precious alive moments. I am a living soul as big as the universe itself and I was given this gift, not good, nor bad. A little piece of earth which I get to enliven with my spirit essence, an instrument with which I can play on Earth, a frail yet resillient pen to use in writing a story in the great book of Life. A body.
However, in man’s mad preocupation with keeping the body alive and well for as long as possible, talks about the body and its relations and conditions are as frequent as angels are in heavens. Therefore… For the fun of it, let’s talk about sex! (Nothing explicit though, so if you are looking for that, seek on!)
Using this one body as a pen with which I (the immortal soul) write one little story of existence, I may create various situations and circumstances for the body, situations experienced by my soul and included in my story. So, that’s the purpose of the body. To give my soul stuff to write about (experience).
In the first years of our life in a physical body we get to accomodate ourselves with all its sensors and command controls. Later, we notice that some sensors offer us very pleasurable sensations, like certain foods, certain specially designed shelters and clothing and of course … Sex.
If you think I am about to scorn those pleasure seeking humans, you are wrong. Every human being is born absolutely FREE, to live and do whatever he thinks and chooses. I am just trying to make a point regarding the “feeling alive” we all seek.
Everyone says they want to be free, to experience joy, to find happiness, to feel truly ALIVE!!! And yet the very things they do prevent them from accomplishing these.
Let’s accept that the aliveness of the experience is given by the amount of attention to the actual live present situation. I think we all (aware human beings) agree here. The presence of my entire being, body, mind, emotion and spirit. When all these four are present in the now moment, that’s aliveness playing.
Now, let’s return to sex. Sex is great as long as it is a game we play for the sake of experiencing aliveness. Two people meet and decide they get along pretty well, they like each other’s company and ideas of fun, that their bodies match in sensorial likes and dislikes, that they could play together nicely, etc. So it begins. They go places where they get new ideas of play together, they sit and chat and develop ideas of fun, they explore, they discover themselves, they create and recreate new better ways of enchanting games. I bet you get the picture!
Now, let’s say one of them finds porn images (or ‘bad’ romantic comedies). These images might very well be a source of inspiration for developing TOGETHER new ideas of fun. But when one finds mental pleasure in simple watching, and watching becomes pathologic (can’t not watch), what do you think will happen when he/she meets the other?
Instead of being present to the other, to his wants and desires, his words, his needs, his hints, to aliveness of now, all that is playing mentally in front if his eyes are the images he has been watching. So next we wants to try and do that and that and that, all those pictures which pleased his mind so much when watched. But he finds to his amazement his own body is not agreeing, nor is the other person. All freshness of two communing is lost. The experience is “dry”, “artificial”. Next they complain of lack of cooperation, disagrement starts and … The soap story begins.
This is true for watching porn for sensorial stimulation (for men primarily but not only) but also for watching romantic comedies for emotional stimulation (for women primarily but not only). In both cases, the presence of mind to the actual togetherness is lost to the advantage of the artificially fabricated images.
My Man and I have both been found guilty on these “charges” in various times of our relationship. There are times when the disease kicks back, but only for a short time, just to give us the chance to clean it up further, to strengthen our firmly taken decision for joy and aliveness.
Awareness is mandatory to ensure nothing prevents the actual flow of aliveness which we all desire as our ultimate joy of them all!
I hope this brings clarity in your mind and peace in your hearts, dear ones!
Theo and Mira 