No Supergirl

You are breaking my heart, my love!
I won’t pretend it isn’t so.
I won’t play big and strong no more.
I am no supergirl.
No force is left to move me.
I feel stunned, not knowing what to do,
if there is anything to do at all.
Not trying to get away.
Not protecting myself of it.
I am just lying in bed crying.
Letting it do its way with me.
I am no supergirl.

I am guilty for desiring love.
Guilty for believing you could love me … one day, tomorrow perhaps.
Or maybe the day after.
How could I mend my broken heart?
It looks like a fishing net, mostly empty space.
Perhaps this is the point of the human experience: opening the heart, in as many as possible spots.
Yesterday, I caught a glimpse of you … watching her. Perhaps she is the one who can break your heart in million of pieces. You will survive.
Soon, you will let the whole world see you with her, by your side.
You’ll be holding her in your arms, carrying her tenderly around, eye to eye, while sweet music plays.
Entire world will be watching your wedding… “This woman I choose.”
My chest aches as I remember your promises.
So many times I asked you to let me go if …
But you said you do care, you do want me …
And then you kissed me. And I believed your kisses.
So many times.
I hate myself for being so weak. So easy going.
So understanding.
Letting myself get hurt again today.
There is nothing I can do to put an end to my pain.
I’m like paralyzed. Like the sleeping beauty.
All I can do is dream.

I am tired of fighting. I want peace.
Serenity. Calm. Clarity. Honesty.
I do what I can to ease my pain, to go on with my days.
I still believe in love because this is just a story.
My story of heart breaking.
Only another human love story.
Feels like writing about someone else.
Such an old overrated story.
I feel like sitting in the train station.
Waiting for another train to get in.
Or maybe I’ll let it pass.
Content with just sitting …
… trains come and go.