What have I learned living near irritable angry never satisfied unhappy (yet adorable) people (yep, I’ve got a few):
Happiness cannot be taught, modeled, trained, achieved, gained, attained. Contentment may. Happiness can only be received. How to get into a receiving state and how to ask for happiness, these can be taught, modeled, trained, achieved, gained, attained.
You are climbing a mountain. You climb and climb and it gets more difficult to advance as you approach the top. Many times you reach an overhang. There is no way to reach the top unless someone from above pulls you up. Wait and hope someone will pass by soon. Stay alert to shout and ask for a hand when he shows up. When he does, go!
Recently I am starting to become aware what mistakes unhappy people make, mistakes that keep them into their strong-headed state of “against the logical natural flow of things”.
1. They do not recognize the direct link between their action and the effects they produce (sometimes they do, but still repeat the same action as before).
2. They become experts at making excuses, blaming anything and anyone at hand for their results.
3. They refuse to listen or pay any attention to those who obviously are doing very well and mean their well too.
4. They listen to or team up with other “against” people they meet or find.
5. They perceive “being against” as normal, and normal as “delusional, naive, wishful”.
6. They fail to rest their brains, reset, meditate.
7. They believe if they don’t have or make something for the “show and tell”, they are worthless.
I don’t know where they were sold and whom from they bought this “unworthiness” idea, sometime in their childhood probably, and they made the decision to prove their excellency and especially their superiority. Obviously, they will find it extremely hard to let go of their childhood goal, ask for happiness, relax and prepare to receive it.
So how can anyone help them?
One may say “lift them when they are in down and they will remember and understand”. Their memory will be all screwy and they will hate you for helping them. No! Don’t help! (except helping like a good samaritan, when someone is in serious evident need).
Don’t ignore their actions either. That will only show them your approval.
Don’t criticize their actions either. That will reinforce their worthlessness belief.
Don’t be upset at them. Think of them as children.
If you are an innately happy person struggling to find a solution for those unhappy ones around you …
There is only one thing to do for them: ask and receive happiness for yourself (other word “pray”).
You will notice that as you are being lifted up to happiness, your big family is also lifted up with you. For you. Because you love them, they matter to your own happiness.
(A good movie of learning the ways of becoming a reasonable loving human being, leading to happiness in the end, is Groundhog Day)
Spirituality for Fun ~ Andreea Garden, July 2016
Image credit: Google Images