How suddenly oscillation stops

When I am calling angels, life looks beautiful.When I am letting monkeys play on my head, life disgusts me. 

When all are gone, life is. 
I cannot stop writing. But I now I am not expecting some sense. Angels and monkeys are full of sense. Too much of it. Life isn’t. Life just is. 

Today, a gate open. Some things became clear. 

1. I am trying too much. Still. To be a good mother, a loving wife, a faithful follower of my Soul. 
2. When I need inspiration or guidance, all I need is nice long walk.
3. I must publish. Words must be released from their digital cage, to come out to light, into the world, to people. I must trust there are people who need to read. 
4. Can’t live without jazz and classical music. Music without words.
   I realize I love experimenting with Life. Life hides, I seek. Life runs, I chase after.
   Andreea Garden, Nov. 2016