Order is NOT a pattern one may be taught and learn ~ words about relationship from J. Krishnamurti

“It is not a blueprint of what order should be; that is what we have been brought up with—a pattern that has been laid down by religions, by cultures, as to what order should be, or what order is. The mind has tried to conform to that order, whether it is cultural order, social order, legalistic order, or religious order; it has tried to conform to the pattern established by social activity, by certain leaders, teachers. To me that is not order because in that is implied conformity, and where there is conformity, there is disorder. Where there is the acceptance of authority, there is disorder. Where there is comparative existence—that is, measuring yourself against somebody, comparing yourself with somebody—there is disorder. I will show you why. Why does your mind conform? Have you ever asked? Are you aware that you are conforming to a pattern? It doesn’t matter what that pattern is, whether you have established a pattern for yourself or it has been established for you. Why are we always conforming? Where there is conformity there cannot be freedom, obviously. Yet the mind is always seeking freedom—the more intelligent, the more alert, the more aware it is, the greater the demand. The mind conforms, imitates, because there is more security in conformity, in following a pattern. That’s an obvious fact. You do all kinds of things socially because it is better to conform. You may be educated abroad, you may be a great scientist, politician, but you always have a sneaking fear that if you don’t go to temples or do the ordinary things that you have been told to do, something evil might happen, so you conform. What happens to the mind that conforms? Investigate it, please. What happens to your mind when you conform? First of all, there is a total denial of freedom, total denial of perception, total denial of independent inquiry. When you conform there is fear. Right? From childhood the mind has been trained to imitate, conform to the pattern which society has established—pass examinations, get a degree, if you are lucky get a job, and get married, finished. You accept that pattern, and you are frightened not to follow that pattern. So inwardly you deny freedom, inwardly you are frightened, inwardly you have a sense of not being free to find out, inquire, search, ask. So that produces disorder in our relationship. You and I are trying to go into this really deeply, to have real insight, see the truth of it; and it is the perception of the truth that frees the mind, not some practice, or the activity of inquiry, but the actual perception of ‘what is’. We bring about disorder in relationship, both inwardly and outwardly, through fear, through conformity, through measurement, which is comparison. Our relationship is in disorder, not only with each other, however intimate it may be, but also outwardly. If we see that disorder clearly, not out there but in here, deeply in ourselves, see all the implications of it, then out of that perception comes order. Then we don’t have to live according to an imposed order. Order has no pattern, is not a blueprint; it comes out of the comprehension of what disorder is. The more you understand disorder in relationship, the greater the order. So we have to find out what is our relationship with each other.”

from “On Love and Loneliness” by J. Krishnamurti