“I would never let myself think that it might all end some day”. This thought felt a little amusing. “All things that have a beginning have also an end” the wiser thought explained. She was alone in the bus station. A few seconds sooner, Mira would have caught the last bus. A few moments of hesitation kept her standing in the rain. A cold november rain rumbled her umbrella like a drum with relentless fast thumping. “There is always a pause after each exhalation” thought Mira. “Life stops after each exhalation” the thought continued, “perhaps … to wait for … a desire to form … a new vision, a new idea for a new life.”
“I am healed, Mira. You healed me. You saved me. I feel full of life, of desires, of curiosity, just like a child. I need to go out and play.” She tried to stop him saying it, she knew it would be harder to forget than not hearing any explanation. “I must feel I am being loved … first, before I let myself … love” he said one day, at the beginning. “Go and play, my dear. I hope one day you’ll find love and you will dare to let yourself … fall. What is life without love but an endless thread of random events, the history, for the mind to order and give meaning?”
The rain stopped and the sky began to glitter. Mira took a fresh long breath in.
“The Universe is still here” thought Mira.
~ * ~
Sarah held her coffee cup with such elegance and comfort as if the little porcelain container were a natural extension of her hand.
“Of course living in love is possible, my dear. We simply must drop all unnecessary thinking… and all unreasonable expectations. Mother Teresa, Ghandi and other people succeeded. It is a daily practice so it takes time and dedication to master it” said Sarah with a soothing voice.
“We play strange games, Sarah, don’t we? Every day has the full potential of ending our story and yet we continue to play as if it would last forever. Every moment is bittersweet. I am ashamed of my reaction. Deep down I knew it would happen someday. We both knew. None of us knew how. I wouldn’t have the courage to say anything.” confessed Mira to her friend.
“Oh, dear, don’t hurt yourself. We all knew there will be pain in this life. Pain goes away. Thoughts about pain must go away too. Life is still here, isn’t it?” said Sarah.
“Yes, it is. Thank you, dear friend. I’m glad I answered your call. I’m glad I traveled all the way here, to meet you.” said Mira.
“What better place to talk about love than a parisian caffe under november rain” chuckles Sarah.
Sarah’s words distracted Mira from her inner storms and she began noticing the space they were in. The light was low inside the caffe because outside the sky was overcast with metallic clouds. The bartender looked satisfied with life. Not ecstatic, joyful, exuberant, not even happy. A bittersweet satisfaction with the present moment, but slightly curious about what will come next. And yet, what comes next, no matter how exciting that might be, will soon pass. What won’t ever pass is that bittersweet satisfaction of being alive… regardless.
Suddenly, Mira felt a strong connection with all life-loving people across the earth, those she has met in her travels and those she hasn’t yet. She sensed she has crossed a bridge to a different earth. And behind her, the bridge burned to ashes. She can never go back. “This is my world so I better get comfortable.”
“I am feeling changed, Sarah. I am able to say “enough” without any emotion. Just as simply as I’d say “no, thank you, I am full” when asked if I’d desire more … raspberry clafoutis.” Mira laughed. “I am feeling … fine. Just fine. Memories will come, I know, playing their movie on the surface of my brain. I’ll find something to do. Something nice and playful, something easy and fun, something… different. I love to watch the magical … play.”
“Cheers, my dear. Having any little negative emotion means one thing: one does not love their guiding angels in that moment.”
Mira stare at Sarah, mesmerized for longer than commonly considered socially acceptable. Sarah’s remark came as a blade. She thought she loved her guiding angels more than anything and more than anyone. Running back into angel’s arms it is, after all, the only safe and spiritually logical reaction to anything that happens. There is nothing I can do when things happens. There is no turning back.
There is no breaking of the fall. When something is on fire, nothing will save it. Let it burn to ashes. After, things will be rebirthed… from the ashes.
“There is still drama playing in my mind… in my cells. Something still believes in drama, still falls for it, when witnessed. So disgusting that my mind stops in shock. In that moment, I simply forget Life is all there is. Whatever drama movies are playing in me now, may they be forever erased! I am free to be gentle like the breeze called Life.”
“And so it is”, reinforced Sarah.
A silence of glass fell.
“I can see Him. I can see Him … once again”, gasped Mira, her eyes filling with tears. “My beloved Angel … he is… painting … a new … stage, a picturesque setting of tranquility … for my tired soul. Create, create, never stop creating … nourishment for my hungry soul. The world is a dry desert.”
“We are all playing games.
Earth experience is a virtual reality.
We are pretending we forgot we are playing.
We are pretending we are here to do something important, other than playing the games.
Playing is important.
When we overthink, we are stalling playing.
When we protest what is for longer than speaking the phrase “I prefer different”, we are messing up the game.
When we believe we need others to play our game, the game gets complicated … before its time.
We are all avatars of the One Player.
Once you know this, you start playing for real. You realize there is no need to protest the condition of your current avatar. You can choose either an upgraded version or choose a different avatar. You have that kind of freedom of choice.
Anyway, the fun you have depends on your ability to feel joy of being. Once you increase your satisfaction sensitivity, the kind of game you play becomes irrelevant.
In this 3D mental setting we call the world, this “I am better than you are” game is most popular. Avatars available: The Ruler/King/Businessman
The Counselor/Word of Law Keeper/Lawyer
The Warrior/Fighter for Ruler/Policeman
The Noble Knight/Hero/Gentleman
The Old Wiseman/Spirit of Law Keeper/Spiritual teacher
The Trickster/Joker/Wizard/Troublemaker
The Common Person/Worker/Servant.
All small ego day-to-day battles and all big world wars belong in the “I am better than you are” mentality. From Life’s perspective, all is always good. Life gave you freedom of choice. No harm done as in the end all gets neatly cleaned and natural order restored. But from individual perspective … I mean … don’t you kinda wanna … sort of … grow up? Play far more complicated and far more interesting grown up kids games? In 4D, 5D and so on? The kind of games that are making use of your mental abilities to enhance the beauty of our planet and of our universe? Aren’t you tired of making a huge mess of things? Not that it cannot be cleaned in a few days … but wouldn’t be nice of you to learn making better choices?”
“Better choices or simply choosing moment by moment to completely disappear. Is it possible to live this way? Oh, forever hold me, angels, throughout my day. If my weak mind slips attention, falling back on worldly threads, be my eyes, be my ears, be my tongue. Attention may not serve two masters. Either Love or the world. My heart has decided. Train my mind to follow. “This here, this now, I love, because it’s part of your game” let this be your mind’s prayer.
Sarah wished she had a voice recording device. Everytime Mira got into that state, wonderful words start pouring out, like a summer rain of soft light. She was in a sort of trance, her body here but her soul into a different realm, a realm of unknown nonhuman emotions.
“Wouldn’t be wonderful to live on earth like angels would?”
“But we are more than angels. We are human beings. Angels are given to us to help us and make our lives easier. We must stop resisting life. Let life love us and live us.”
“Yes. Yes, Sarah. And yet we want to understand how life is doing it all. We want to explain to others … to … emanate … words.”
“Yes, some people have this need … but feed yourself first. Live for yourself. Let yourself be loved, in a million different wonderful ways.”
“Yes, Sarah, … I used to know all these. What happened to me? Why am I so confused?”
“You are not confused, my dear. Wounds are raw and hurt. Your mind is trying to close you off to protect you. It’s a natural instinct. But the guardian of your soul knows better.”
~ * ~
When trees breathe mist angels are free to play games among scattered humans strolling in the park. Angels are always happy, always finding something to play with, always in love with life. Humans walk, lost in thoughts, weaving and knitting treads of stories, imagining places and situations, secretly hoping that their dreams will eventually come true, continuously oscillating between hope and disbelief, yet still waiting for love. “If only they could rise and see the big picture.”
Mira loves how the mist surrounds her in a thick humid shawl of tiniest specks of water, penetrating her clothes, reaching for her skin with sensual intentions, or perhaps simply being attracted to her heat emanating body. The wooden bench underneath sleeps in peace, her destiny fulfilled. Wet leaves, completely consumed by sunlight, rain, summertime and wind, surrender their material remains to the earth, in a melancholic chorus: “gone are the days, gone is the sun / life slips away, in the blink of the eye. If only mind could let it be ok as it is and simply sleep, so the senses of the soul awake and feel.”
Mira felt herself dissolving into the mist. There are no words to describe this emerging into all while becoming nothing. She was the trees, she was the mist, she was the earth and the dying leaves.
Suddenly, she felt this irresistible desire to start a new game. A game for humans and angels. For too long angels have been standing by, always loving, always happy, always ready to play, completely ignored by humans, having to watch them torture themselves in their stubbornness, not remembering to ask for assistance. “We don’t see why the one you love wouldn’t love you. Your rendezvous is something angels arrange for you. Don’t make it complicated. Just be sensitive and follow our lead. Be willing and trust us. And don’t worry if you miss a step, if your timing is off, there are a billion more ways and possibilities opening up at every step.”
“Everyone seems to be bored with the old games humanity has been playing for eons. What if this is the next big wave? What if I trust angels on this? What if I follow their lead? I wonder what angels arranged for me today? I wonder if I can relax a little, if I can sense and feel … a little simple thought, a moment impulse, a hunch, … hm, … let’s see … breathe … relax … what would be nice … uhm … starting to feel a little chilly, a nice hot chamomile tea would be nice. Oh, yes, I remember … the patisserie just around the corner. Yes, let’s move. Come on, get up, get up! Get … up! You promise you follow the inspiration. Why is it hard to get up from this bench? Why is getting harder? Why I don’t believe in miracles, in something wonderful expecting me around the corner anymore? Oh, come on! Why Mira, it’s time to shake off this stale feeling. What expects you around the corner is beyond your imagination.”
The heart is excited, the mind is apprehensive.
Just start slowly. What would be wonderfully simple and accessible right now?
A walk. A nice slow walk. Yes. That would be so invigorating. A light moving would be nice. More looking at people. At strangers. More doing things. More feeling it all. Easy, easy, flow, gentle. It’s ok to feel, feeling is energy, energy movement is health and happiness. Free flowing life energy feels fresh, it feels like good clean fun, it feels like vibrantly alive nature, like spontaneous natural appreciation, a burst of joy, … and love in gaze, in voice, in words, in gestures between people.
Free flowing love feels amazing, more and more blisful. Look … watch that little girl over there, skipping, swaying her arms with energetic self-confindent optimism as if the entire universe were her playground and all that ever matters is getting into play mood.
Mira remembered she used to be that girl. What would that little girl do if she were here now, wearing Mira’s shoes … and dress … and trench coat?
First, she would make the world a blue place. A new beginning. An empty space.
Next, she would take the piece of white chalk out of her pocket and draw a line. A horizontal line, for no other purpose than logical reference: a blue sky and a blue earth. Then, out of the pure infinite blue, by utterly mysterious means, another line appears. A vertical line, perpendicular on the first. A few other lines and the set is ready. The finished set of lines seems to exert a powerful attraction, calling, inviting Mira “come, sit here, let’s touch the sky”.
This minimal long upstanding rectangular talked to her. Even more so, it promised her a journey up high. Spontaneously, the corners of Mira’s lips curved up from a natural inner “Yes”. A few steps and her bottom sits onto the lower horizontal shorter line of the rectangular while her palms grab hold of the two verticals. With an energetic confident movement, Mira’s feet pushed into the earth, logically launching her into the opposite direction. Blue sky above, blue earth below, a girl swinging in between. Laughing, crying … Nothing but bliss.
Who knew a simple rectangle could offer such joy!
Is this rectangle an angel? Are angels colors, sounds and shapes? Simple pure ideas. Abstractions.
Excerpt from work in progress “Theo and Mira, Loving Life. Part two.”
Theo and Mira 