My dear friend,
The cause of your suffering is your (imagined yet believed) specialness. You think you are better than everyone, you trust no one. The world is a desolation because you have no love in your heart. You closed it off with the many things you made. Your busyness is a running away from everyone, is avoiding to look at everything as a whole, delaying to observe the sameness.
Happiness is loving. Loving at least one will suffice. But that one, love truly, completely.
A. Garden, September 2022